Tuesday, March 1, 2011

A day when the kid inside me needs you

It’s one of those days when I hit rock bottom and when the space between the skies and earth fits the needle head, it’s one of those days when the kid inside me screams for your words to calm the waves hitting wilderness inside my soul. When my heaves flame the skies and bring them down turning my universe into smoky vacuum. There is still a kid inside me who I had outgrown as I aged more in your absence, a kid that had been imprisoned inside my flesh refusing to grow without your warmth. A kid deprived from your nurturing touches and your breaths into the soul. A kid that shared all his life mysteries with you, laughed and cried with you, a kid that is desperately in need for you to color his world one more time and instills tranquility into his soul terrains.

It’s one of those days when I wander into my wilderness, you were there comforting me with your voice soothing my body shakes, a softening voice that makes violins weep, and offering me a new sky with stars, moon shining on me and a sun that exposes my demons and vanquishes them. It is in this day when I need you desperately, when I long for your endless emotions to fuel my life and nourish my soul with your tenderness, and now I look around me and find nothing but shadows closing up on me.

It’s one of those days when you used to calm me down, when you knew how to shake my doubts away, when you knew how to soak my tantrums and smoothly wrap me in your confidence. You had your way of sneaking into my sadness and breathing joy into it. And now when you are gone I can’t find my footsteps and can’t lead my way.

You were the constant in my life, the one thing that changes everything with your touch, empty my worries with your words and strengthen me with your trust in me. You were the only force pulling me out of my solitude and offering the lap to crumble within. And now as I face my emptiness without you at my side; I will shun the world and retreat to my solitude waiting for the storms to pass me by and offering condolences for the kid inside me.

It’s one of those days when I lament the day your shines abandoned me and warmed everyone but me. A day where I plea for the memories and the time that had been kind to me by crossing each other paths to revisit my tired heart and offer me the strength and hope I need. A day when the kid dreams about memories in his heart when you bestowed serenity in his soul.