I made up my mind to spend this birthday alone. They say that you are not supposed to say what you wish for in your birthday. I wished that this birthday shall pass unnoticed, with no one congratulating me, this way it might be easier to overlook it!! And as time passes, the memory of this birthday without you will start to fade away, and it will remain just a shadow of a wilting day. I didn't want to have other things contributing into making it any harder to let go of this birthday.
I switched off my mobile trying to avoid any messages congratulating me and with my family being away, I felt like everything is going towards my little plan. I figured that being congratulated on the next day may minimize the effects!!
But destiny is hiding something around the corner. As I switched on my mobile the next evening, among some text messages congratulating me there was a text message from a stranger with a simple text "Happy birthday Touché, hope you are doing fine". The first thing that rushed to my mind that it might be YOU!!
My heart started to beat rapidly, I really wished that it turns out to be from the missing part of my heart, the warmth to feed my soul. I've always wished that by some divine intervention you remember it. How ironic, now when you are totally gone and no way to have you back, not for a single whisper or gasp I truly totally wish that you remember my birthday. They say, you can't say what you wish for in your birthday. But I do wish for your voice or anything that says that I haven't been totally forgotten or been scraped from your life. People do love to be remembered and I'm not the exception, I know that I keep hanging to your memories knowing that I can't unscramble the scrambled eggs. I just wanted to be remembered, to be reminded that I once used to have a heart that beats inside me because of you.
You've always been there whether I like it or not, you are part of it. It's just another year, so what's the big deal, everyday is someone's birthday! What makes me so special to certify mine!!! You've moved along, forced or with your will, the bottom line you've moved, so it's my turn to do the same!! But I don't feel like moving along, I don't want to step ahead, I like it this way!!! How do you possibly diminish your life's core!!!
I sent "Thank you, but may I know who is this?" a reply came with a name that was utterly unfamiliar to me!! Who might that be? Someone with that name who happens to know my birthday!! I know none with that name that might possibly know my birthday and actually remember it!!! All I did was typing back "Most appreciated, but forgive my ignorance for not recognizing the name". A reply with "I knew you wouldn't know me, it's ok. Happy birthday again"!!
I dug deep into my memories and the name started to clear into my head, what I was deep down hoping that it might be you my lost love has turned out to be someone who is almost a stranger to me. Someone who somehow remembered my birthday when my soul was yearning for only one person to officially add another year to my calender. And as a courtesy, I looked up the person's birthday to repay the unexpected congratulatory message. And here comes the ultimate surprise, the most unpredictable thing!! The birthday date is well known to me!! From all the 365 days, it happens to be on this particular date!!! None other date than the crucial one!!! The date happens to be our anniversary!! Or what used to be our anniversary!!!
Funny, how destiny works!! I can see destiny's teeth smirking at me and all I can do is smirking back at it with this ironically ironic birthday!!