It’s my anniversary alone with the memories, I’ve witnessed years passing me by since you had sailed away and I’d stood still gazing into the unknown. Three years and yet I remember your last words, three years and I thought I’ve adjusted to your perpetual departure, I thought I’ve wandered for so long and deep enough to reach the bottom, yet, the falling seems endless.
In the beginning there was a request “promise me not to let me get hurt” and I’ve loved you immensely wrapping you within my heart so that if anything would hurt you then it’s my heart that shall bleed before you. At the end there was the final request “wipe away your tears, we can’t defy society’s rules, go on with your life and seek a new companion to replace me in your heart” and that it the request I can never obey. Between the beginning and the end you told me once “I know, you’ll never be able to love anyone else but me and everyone shall remind you of me” and that my love is the ultimate truth, the immortal words that keeps ringing into my ears till this moment, the truth that sums me up and immortalized with every breathe I take.
I’ve always wondered how come memories surface up uninvited, memories that I’ve never thought I can remember nor I had, but still they insist into showing their glowing face and shine my days. So many overwhelming memories that sometimes I need to close my eyes to process them and shrink my whole existence into the single thought of you. Memories that have been lurking into the deepest sides of my memory, they’ve been hidden for too long that they seem like a confabulation of you and made up by my never ending longing of you. Every surfaced memory makes my heart dances with rapture and encapsulates me with the sweetest joy I can ever imagine. It feels like collecting pieces of me and adding them up to feel somehow complete again.
Memories so intense that they chase me and blossom everywhere instead of having me chasing them. They rise in all the streets I walk into, all the places we’ve been to and even the in times I spent thinking of you, they are everywhere and yet are nowhere near me. Memories that defy the universe and bend the time, levitate me into another dimension by taking me to witness their birth. Whenever my eyes wander around, memories pop up like precious gifts; showers of memories that seem have escaped me and lost forever, now they are restored with the tiniest details and rainbows surrounding them.
I wonder, will you ever have those sudden surfaced memories? Have they been buried deep that shall remain forgotten? Do places spark those memories? Do you remember me?
