There are times, when all you wish for is that you locate the RESET button in your system to have your default settings restored.
There are times, when the waves are too high, when you are fed up with all the ups and downs and your vast world starts to shrink into a small rocked corner. When your energy is drained out of you and everything seems to be going into intertwined paths with full speed. When things that used to be the simple facts of your life are turning into hazed images of a dazed soul.
If such option can be granted, will someone take the leap into having everything wiped out with a chance to start over again? Having to let go of all the memories and experiences? To exterminate soul's corners with all that has been accumulated during the years? I know I've been tempted to have that imaginary button pressed.
Will it be really worth it?
Fact: many memories shall wither as days go by, no matter what's their nature and regardless of their vital importance. And eventually many things which are stacked deep down and chained to a bottomless subconscious, may never surface again. Memories that you try to keep them floating the surface all the time and try too hard to be truthful and sincere to them, the majority of them are distended to gradually fade away.
I'll hold on to those memories and shadow them with each breathe. This is all that has left and all that matters when I look back at my past years. That's what makes my life A life, and as long there are breathes inflating my chest then I shall live it to the most while having you in my heart as each blood pump nurtures your memories and rejuvenate fading ones.
Our lives are rich with enormous resources of happiness, but sometimes we mislead ourselves into believing that by focusing on all that has gone wrong, it shall provide us with the motivation to face the challenges. And by feeding on our experiences’ nectar we’ll avoid our mistakes to fulfill our pledge by benefiting from such experience.
But there is a fine and invisible line that we may overlook, when we place ourselves into our handmade entrapment by dwelling for too long trying to comprehend our past, turning ourselves into our own guards of our prison. Chained to life’s fluctuations, we soon will start suffocating for a bright day that we prevent it from ever happening while locking ourselves into the past.
When we choose to focus on what makes us happy, a shift occurs in the fabric of our existence. Finding something to be happy about every single day can help this shift sets a foot deeper and puts our souls into balance, when we can see that being alive is truly a gift to be savored. And there is always something we can be happy for; it is simply up to us to identify.
On one day, we may find happiness in a momentous, life-changing event such as a marriage or a birth of a child. On another day, the happiness we experience may be a product of our appreciation of a particularly well-brewed cup of a coffee or the way the sun lays its rays on our skin on a breezy morning. If we discover that we literally cannot call a single joyful element to existence, we should examine the cause of such block state standing between us and experiencing happiness. We should catalog happiness unfolding all around us and realize that joy has myriad opportunities to manifest itself into our lives.
Happiness may not always be recognized easily with our lives. Most likely, we have been conditioned to believe that the proper response to unmet expectations is to wallow into sadness, anger, guilt, or fear. To make joy a stapled event in our existence, we must first accept that it is within our power to choose happiness on every single day. Then, each time we discover a source of happiness, the notion that the world is a happy place will pave its way deeper into our hearts. Today, find one thing to be happy about and let it fill your heart.
Happiness may not always be recognized easily with our lives. Most likely, we have been conditioned to believe that the proper response to unmet expectations is to wallow into sadness, anger, guilt, or fear. To make joy a stapled event in our existence, we must first accept that it is within our power to choose happiness on every single day. Then, each time we discover a source of happiness, the notion that the world is a happy place will pave its way deeper into our hearts. Today, find one thing to be happy about and let it fill your heart.
P.S.
My dear friend, I am happy for ever having the chance to live my life as it is, to ever fall immensely in love with her, to have the lightning striking my heart, to carve those memories into my soul, to have you as my friend and to let you know that I’m happy despite everything that might shed gloomy shadows on me.
Do you remember when you said that "Someone should watch About Schmidt only when he feels that he is happy when he shouldn't be"? Well, today it's my turn to tell to flip the coin and watch As Good As It Gets and be happy for the mere fact of feeling happy.
ummmmm. . . "bear" the flaws?
ReplyDeleteTouche', you won't believe this now, but here is what happens. You keep the memories. The emotional impact fades. Even now, you are probably finding that you don't get that electric shock when you take out the memories and examine them. Their impact is fading . . . it's just what happens with the passage of time. You don't have to give them up - life moves on.
Here is a truth - God/Allah can use the very worst things that happen in our lives to bring great good. Out of the worst can come things better than you could ever have imagined. Hold on to that thought.
Let yourself enjoy that perfect cup of coffee. Let yourself enjoy that whiff of clean salt sea air, the freshness of the first wintry day. It may seem small, but life is made up of small joys, punctuated now and then by incredible highs, etched and heightened by abysmal lows. It takes darkness to give definition to light. It takes absence of love to give definition to true love when it arrives.
Hang in there. You have so many worthy qualities. This world needs you.
Interesting Note:
ReplyDelete"the notion that the world is a happy place will pave its way deeper into our hearts."
In Psychology theres a good reason to make the above point 'AN INTERESTING NOTE'
Well, cutting all the emotional crap, the post mentioned too many times "Soul" .. Are you a fan of mine ??
Either you need to get back to your girl/guy or need to find one ASAP !
I cannot see you so emotionally pathetic anymore.. !!
Happiness is a state of mind.
Its the mind.. can we have more lines about the mind ... ??
~ Soul
Oh lord what I would give to have that Reset button! Yet If I had it I highly doubt I would use it. There are so many memories I would love to delete yet I believe they are a part of me. I want a button that keeps all the memories stay intact but removes the emotional agony from them.
ReplyDeleteYou speak of this happiness might it be of something significant or insignificant but really what is happiness?? Don't they say happiness is in the eye of the beholder, just like beauty that is.
each person defines happiness as they feel it.
I disagree we can't choose happiness, there are too many factors that have to be considered. What kind of happiness are you talking about? The happiness that brings endless joy with it or happiness that lasts for few seconds while seeing a beautiful flower or object etc.
What ever might happiness be for you I hope you find it where ever it might be..
Now if only we could be soulless that would be the cure for all our torment.
We are all a product of our memories and experiences. A person is alive, in the sense the he or she is always changing. We learn, and adapt, and grow stronger as a result of these experiences. There is so much pain in life, but from it we gain strength. And what is life but a test anyways, of your faith and resolve.
ReplyDeleteAs for not having a soul...even with a soul, it is hard at times to find the meaning behind it all. Imagine where we would be without it...would there be any point? I'm not so sure...
I believe in the law of attraction
ReplyDeletethere are no flaws in your post, they are always really good!
ReplyDeletewe all wish for a reset button sometime in life but moving forward when things get better I am sure you wouldnt want to reset it then!!
Hang on mate you are doing good so far.
how long has it been?
ReplyDeleteBeautifully written post. Rarely do I come past posts that have such eloquently written words depicting such... emotions.
ReplyDeleteThe most interesting statement you have written is this "we should examine the cause of such block state standing between us and experiencing happiness." Many a time people dwell on this exact point. What is it? What is it that hinders us all to achieve this happiness, this sense of fulfillment so whole and complete? I often believe what stands in our path is the concept of happiness. Ironic, but true. Life itself can be described with bittersweet sentiment. The bitter and the sweet come hand in hand...complimentary, if you will. One needs the sadness to experience true happiness, simply as a basis for comparison.
i will never use this button ( RESET).. all the memories that i have and all mistakes that i did is what make me ME .. and i wanna hold every moment that i had in my life .. if you change this button to (REST) .. i will defeintly use it 1 hr a day :)
ReplyDeleteYour post is sooooo touche
>> Intl Xpart:
ReplyDeleteThank you for addressing my mistake, I’ve corrected it. Ironically you’ve been warned for the flaws :)
Oh, you have no idea what it feels right now to read your post, to have a storm of memories and ideas flooding me. Indeed memories are fading and they aren’t as powerful as they used to be. Long time has passed and I’ve been through a lot since my loss.
I’ve been thinking about the real reason behind such mild impact for what used to spark the heart. Have I been ignoring my nostalgia for someone who meant the world to me, have I surrendered to time influence, have I been distracting myself from those memories by engulfing myself into work by working for a straight 12 hours a day and bringing work to home just in case of I need a sanctuary I'll open up my bag and start working those documents or have my subconscious deliberately reduced their effects and started its healing process against my wishes.
Those memories haven’t really faded, I’ve chosen to shed the light towards other angels and have them in the dark. I still can see them as vivid as I see the letters I’m typing and I can feel them as they were born moments ago. Maybe, it's a subconscious inner healing that drives me into disembarking from them.
Interestingly, here is a story which I’ve just heard two days ago. Actually it is a part of my next post regarding my birthday story. But I’ll reveal one side of it. A guy who is adorable and one of those guys that penetrate your heart with their kindness in their eyes. At one point of the conversation, he talked about his marriage, he broke up with his sweetheart whom he loved for 5 years after 6 months engagement and ended up with what he calles "a super traditional marriage", it surpasses all the traditional methods we've ever heard. He says he is in love with his current wife and can’t imagine himself married to someone else other than her and living happily ever since. I believe that part of the story relates a lot to what you’ve mentioned.
>> Soul:
Sharp observation, actually it has been mentioned 6 times!! Now I wonder does that make me a fan?!!
Remarkable suggestion to find someone, but I guess it’s an emotional crap that doesn’t fit here.
“I cannot see you so emotionally pathetic anymore” now this is what deserves to be labeled as super interesting, thank you for the smile your comment brought to my face.
You are right, happiness is a state of mind and who knows I might end up writing a mind blowing mind related post, the question is can you keep up :)
>> FourMe:
Memories and emotions walk side to side and you can’t have one without having the other. Extracting emotions from memories will be like looking into those old negative film slides, you can see the pictures under bright light and still it is a confused one. You wouldn’t want to end up into living such life.
True, happiness is in the eye of the beholder as it is our solely choice to look at it the way it brings rapture to our hearts. When you think of someone who you miss, the first thing that comes to your mind and draws a smile on your face is so tiny but yet so significant. Those are the little things that pop up into our brains once a memory flashes by. You start up with those little things that bring joy to your heart and let them pile up till a whole painting is manifested.
Soulless, no one wants to be soulless unless he/she is so self absorbed that own self is the whole world to him/herself. I’ve once been told that before we are created, our souls roam in heaven in pairs and when we are created we spend our lives looking for that paired soul to complete what’s missing. They say that every soul needs souls to keep living and a lonely soul is a dead soul.
It's a fairy tale yet I like the meaning it holds.
>> Q80 Saracen:
I second your opinion.
Some how I feel that your comment is a response to FourMe’s, am I right?
>> Hope:
It’s great to hear from you, you’ve stopped posting for a couple of months now.
Though I didn’t grasp your comment.
>> Amu:
My friend, your comment by quoting the last paragraph proves that you’ve read the whole post. It is amazing, isn’t it? You’ve managed to conquer a long post.
I salute you :)
So tell me the secret, how many time have you read the post in small parts ?:) "j/k"
>> Z.:
The number keeps changing every day, it’s a little bit over 2 years.
>> S.:
Your comment is much superior to my humble post. Eloquently written and embedded with wise sentences.
Some people can’t be happy and can’t feel happiness as they’ve been accustomed to agony. They are glued to their past bad experiences that it escapes them that happiness might be around the corner and when the sun rays slash their dark clouds their eyes start to hurt and interpret it as a one more painful day.
>> Feelings Talk:
I love that idea about the “REST” button, I'm sure that I want one of those and it suits FourMe needs :)
If I could reset my life, I woould not do it... I would not lose the memories but if I had a button to restore my common sense to what it was 10 years ago, I would not give it a second thought before doing it.
ReplyDeletepanoc button, restart buton, might as well we have a reality-check button.
ReplyDeletenothing is as bad as it may seem, trust me.
I don't ever wish to have this reset button because my experiences in life whether good or bad made me evolve to the person that I am today.
ReplyDelete"To exterminate soul's corners with all that has been accumulated during the years?" -> it is the mind that you are talking about..
I sense that you are forgetting little by little..and I sense that the moment you acknowledge that you're starting to forget, you reset the button, hence you come back to this->"I'll hold on to those memories and shadow them with each breathe"
"sometimes we mislead ourselves into believing that by focusing on all that has gone wrong, it shall provide us the motivation to face the challenges" bingo! by focusing on all the negative aspects in our lives we just keep on attracting negative events to ourselves because our inner thoughts are negative and thinking unhappy thoughts.
you are absolutely right, it is all about balance and that is what Islam teaches
In response to your response to Int'l expat (ok this sounds weird)..if you are keeping busy at work because you dont really like work but you want to forget..big mistake! it will get worst! your bound to explode one day..its all about changing thoughts..keeping busy is great but for a thinker..it wont resolve the problem..
and in reference to your story about the man who got married super traditionally..we may think that something is so perfect but it may not be so perfect for us..the girl he was in love with is perfect but no so perfect for him..
ok..take care
Sure i can keep up Touché.
ReplyDeleteI am curious.
I tend to be mutually attractive to those who share clear vision with their minds and emotions.
Before we could get to the "Turbulent Emotions 799" course, we could as well take Mind 101 lessons. Dont ya think so ?
~ Soul
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteTouche, I have to agree with Hope. I call it seepage. To get through a really tough time, to survive, often we wall off our feelings because we simply can't deal with them. But no matter how we try to seal them off, they seep. You awake from a dream gasping, because you were THERE again. You weep inappropriately, because there are feelings seeping out that you can't control. If you try to contain big feelings without dealing with them, they come back to haunt you.
ReplyDeleteYou have to walk through the pain. I suspect this blog helps you do that in bearable doses from time to time. As you can read, you have a lot of company. If you can't talk about these things with others, you can get them off your chest here.
Really important question, Touche, if you are still reading this far - can I run your election vote buying comments as an article on my blog?
It's not a fairytale if I'm not mistaken it says that somewhere in Islam, and they don't roam in heaven, it's a land where all souls wait till one is created.
ReplyDeletedare I say I believe that if I didn't have my soul I wouldn't be so attached to 'his'.
FourMe is in desperate need of the Rest button. Let me know when its out and about.
Yes I have contemplated if it were possible for me to press that reset button, but now that I have thought about it.. im not so sure if I would go with it, should I be given the chance to. Why, u may ask?
ReplyDeleteWell, I think u once told me that bad things happen only so that u can compare them with the good.. the worse the situation, the more significant the pleasant can be perceived.
Memories will always stay in the past.. they are there for a reason; for us to learn from our flaws/well-doings, and to strengthen us by giving our lives some substantial meaning.
And no u shudint forget her, but u also shudint close future doors that may open along the path u choose to take..
So will I 'reset'? I don't think so.. afterall "we are but a product of our memories and experiences"-Q80 Saracen;p
Any updates ?
ReplyDelete~ Soul
did you reset your life and forgot to reprogramme this part of it back in ?
ReplyDeleteTouche, we miss you. Are you OK? Are you ever going to blog again?
ReplyDeleteYour "P.P.S" sounds like a poem :)
ReplyDeleteBeautiful post... I think a lot of us wish we could push the reset button, but these things that happen in our lives shape our future and personality. Think of things that have happened to you in the past, that have become a part of your identity...
I know it's no comfort because of how you feel RIGHT NOW... but it's good to know that something great will come out of all of this...
your writing, your thoughts everything is beyond me. im in love with how these words roll out of your head and are put together because i can relate so much, yet would never be able to sum it up the way do it. ok i think im rambling now. el zibda please write more because i start tearing with every post you write about her. is that mean of me? since her memory causes you pain.? ok im definetly rambling now.
ReplyDelete>> L.O.U.:
ReplyDeleteI’m sure I could use that button with so many mistakes in need to be overwritten, but again without those mistakes no lessons would’ve been learned and I wouldn’t have ended up the way I am, only if the remorse could go away with such mistakes.
>> Ahmed©:
Nothing is as bad as it seems but unfortunately it is as bad as it feels.
>> Hope:
I know you would never press such button :)
Your history is yours and it defines your character and indeed it is tempting to fix some dents and avoid some mistakes. I don’t think I’d have the courage to press it and have that endless void in my life, replacing void with pain isn’t really smart (if courage is the right word to describe it)
You forced me into reading my own words and Ill tell you, it feels strange to dig into those lines and starting reminiscing.
Is it forgetting? or the fact that time is passing by and grieving hasn’t mended my wounds. I’m not sure really what is the case but I’m sure it isn’t forgetting.
As for my mental absence and as I may call it my optional autism, I shall write a post about it and dear don’t call me a thinker as it is a great word that I can't fit in it.
>> Soul:
Touché’ to you :)
I’m sure you can and you will keep up, as it is sometimes hard to resists something that challenges our ideas, I know the feeling and your input is always pertinent.
>> Intl Xpat:
As always the most thoughtful and eloquent comments comes from you and it seems that you have that remarkable tendency to generate exquisite remarks effortlessly.
You suspects are correct, what started as a way to document my emotions due to my weak memory and to see how time is changing me is turning to a therapeutic outlet where I say things that normally reside inside me.
You don’t have to ask for permission, you can run it as you are pleases (Though it is too late :))
>> FourMe:
Thank you for correcting me :)
It seems that I’ve over waited and my soul isn’t as dim as it used to be.
I haven’t been able to boot again, my restart button is screwed up.
>> Lone Ranger’ess::
It’s the zest for life and urge to pursue new doors that I’ve lost along the way. I’ve always believed that I can find the bright side of any incident no matter how dark it may seem and I know my loss is her gain as I do believe that is most gracious and shall compensate her with a better man than I am and if she is well and happy then I’m thankful for that as I’ve always wanted nothing but granting her happiness, and no matter how idealistic is may seem or even a cliché, it’s the pain of the loss and nostalgic memories that pulls me all the time, wishing things turned out differently or having the capability to change the inevitable.
>> likeairillrise:
Thank you for your kind words and attempts to soothe the way I feel.
The thing is that we yearn to what don’t have and forget all the other blessing, I think it’s the human nature to seek our unfulfilled desires. And as for the great unforeseen outcome, it is unnecessary to be from the same exact nature and hence my previous lines explains it.
>> Meticulous:
I’m flattered and definitely you welcome to ramble any time you like :)